How to regain control of your meeting
There is a scene in the music video for WAP (headphones, NSFW!) that any Corporate woman can relate to.
Cardi and Meghan Thee Stallion are owning the room (or in this case, the pool). They are commanding attention. All eyes are glued to them.
Then, all of a sudden, apropos of nothing,
A Kyle Jenner emerges.
This Kylie instantly yanks all the attention to them.
Their presence makes zero sense.
They add nothing of value.
And you're left feeling super WAP (Weak and Powerless)
This is not what Jadey, or Cardi, or Meghan Thee Stallion, for that matter, wants from you.
So, if someone—hypothetically say a white male VP of an entirely unrelated field–tries to Kylie Jenner you, here are some steps to regain control of your own damn meeting.
Six ways to get the attention back where it belongs—on you
Hide the whiteboard pens and erasers in advance. A good defense is the best offense.
Do NOT stop talking. If someone is attempting to speak over you, it is very, very important you do not stop speaking. Continue as if they are not talking. When people are being rude, the polite thing to do is ignore them. Keep speaking in the exact same, even-keeled tone and do not stop. Filibuster them, basically.
If they get control of the conversation, wait until the second they pause for breath. Even douchebags have to breathe air. The second that pause hits, you jump back in full-force. Say “Let’s get back to our original agenda….” then pull up a new slide, and start asking engaging questions to the room.
Raise your hand and say “Can I ask a question?” Mansplainers love questions because it makes them feel like experts. So when they say yes, say something like “I’m wondering….” and then plunge back into your original point.
Call them out. You can say something gentle, like “Hey Matt, I love your passion, but I’ve actually curated the agenda for this meeting really carefully and I’d like to stick with it. Can we schedule a future meeting for these other topics?'“ If they aren’t the type to get a hint, just be factual. Say something like “Matt, we’ve been in this meeting for 30 minutes and I haven’t been able to make it past slide two because every time I open my mouth, you interrupt me. Can you please stop?”
The Grandmaster Flex of all Flexes. Use this sparingly or it will lose its effect. But employed selectively, it is insanely effective. You simply go “Matt, may I speak to your outside?” DUN DUN DUN. Oh yes, you did! There is no more terrifying phrase in business and it instantly gives all the power to you. Once outside, you can read Matt the riot act or simply ask him how his son’s soccer game was. Doesn’t matter. The flex is in the exit.