How to Own Any Room
Sick of being that shy wallflower in the corner of every meeting? Repulsed by the sound of your own grating generic agreement? Jealous of those people who seem to walk in and command attention in every meeting, like all eyes in the room go straight to them? Do you want to be That Woman? The one that no one can take their eyes off? The one that every one talks about feverishly at lunch after like ‘Can you believe that she just straight up….” You do? Ok then. Buckle up. Your wish is my command, but, as always, my advice is not for the faint of heart. This is for Serious Boss Babes only.
Still here? Well, well, well. Let’s do it.
If you want to show up in your next meeting or interview like a commanding, magnetic boss, here are a few unexpected tactics to try:
Bluntly disagree with someone in power. To immediately command all the attention in the room where it belongs—on you—break the ice by immediately disagreeing with what is being said. A simple “Bad idea” or “Huge mistake” or “I wouldn’t” can work wonders. I know this advice may sound awful, or terrifying, or counterintuitive. If you haven’t read my blog post on Why Men Being Mean to You is Good, run don’t walk.) But trust me, it works. And no, it does not have to be something that is actually wrong. You don’t have to prove to everyone that you’re right. You just have to prove to everyone that you are fearless and confident enough to contradict a high-powered person in public. If it turns out they are right, you can simply say “Ah, I see. I misunderstood, that does make sense.” No harm; no foul. But the impression has been left, and no one is going to be forgetting YOU any time soon. Nor should they.
Wear something bold and then barely talk. Rachel Zoe said “Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak.” Jade Makana says "“an elegant woman embodies delicious contradiction.” When you wear something splashy, like a bold fuschia lip, or a red dress, or a killer stud heel, that’s definitely A Move. But it’s kinda personal branding 101. To next level it, you have to add on the element of saying few words, giving that Mona Lisa smile, keeping your gaze slightly averted. It’s those two opposing elements together, that delicious contradiction, that creates mystery. That’s how you make yourself the most intriguing woman in the room. If a woman walks in wearing a bright dress, laughing loudly, talking in a high shrill voice, obnoxious cell phone ring tone, it’s too much. You have to subvert expectations. People expect a woman in a bold dress to emit some level of thirst strap energy. So don’t.
Don’t say anything and listen intently and take notes. The majority of people are genuinely horrible listeners. I am often complimented on being an exceptional listener, and it’s a skill I take very seriously. Most people are jockeying for position and waiting for someone to take a breath so they can interject what they want to say. Sitting back and listening thoughtfully, then taking notes that you can reflect back at a later date, creates a significant impression all their own.
Ask the question everyone is thinking but is afraid to ask. Everyone is trying to look smart in meetings, but that’s not the same as being smart. Confident women set themselves apart because they are comfortable in their own skin and unafraid to say '“I’m sorry. I have no idea what you just said.” I remember I was once I a meeting where our Accountant was going on and on about EBIDTA.. I didn’t know what it was and was too scared to ask. I still remember the woman who raised her hand and said “What’s EBIDTA?” I permanently respected her from that day forward and felt gratitude toward her for being brave. Since then, I pride myself on being the person who asks the so-called stupid question, and I get a lot of grateful Slack messages after the fact.
There you have it! For foxy and ferocious ways to own any room. And for the record, EBIDTA is Earnings Before Interest, Deprecation, Taxes and Amortization. You are welcome!