What to do if you hate your job (but can’t quit!)
We all have lavish daydreams of telling off our boss, storming out of our office, and quitting in some daring fashion that immortalizes us as a meme forevermore. Sadly, sometimes no matter how much we want to leave a job we hate, it isn’t possible….at least not yet.
As my mom would say, “sometimes you have to bloom where you are planted.” But how can you make the best of a job you low-key loathe? Here are my best tips!
Tips for thriving in a job you hate
Tell yourself everyone loves you and is trying to help you. Many times, our job misery is linked to a certain person…a catty coworker, a toxic boss, a bully. It can be very tempting to villainize this person, give them an evil nickname a la The Anne Taylor Antichrist, and complain about them every chance you get to your friends and family. As deliciously tempting as this may be, resist the urge to drown your sorrows with sordid tales of your vile work villian. Even though it feels better in the moment, you are only making things worse. No matter how subtle you think you are being, when you are thinking negative thoughts like “This person hates me! They are trying to tear my down. They are on such a power trip,” I assure you that energy is coming across loud and clear. You are undoubtedly coming across as bratty, sullen, contemptuous, or angry. Also, even if it’s true, this belief is not serving you. Instead, just tell yourself “This person is trying to help me. I can learn from them. They only want the best for me.” Ingrain these positive notions in your brain, until you start believing them. Remember, you are doing this for you, not them. It is not about letting them off the hook. It is about taking the high road, not exacerbating the situation, and showing up as the woman you want to be. This works; trust me. Just give it a try.
Avoid catalysts. In my career coaching business, my clients often tell me that they hate their job. But when I dig deeper, it is often a specific aspect of their job they hate. Maybe a certain person, a certain meeting, a certain set of duties. So find a way to minimize your triggers. Can you limit your contact with this person? Stick to email instead of in-person meetings? Always have another person present when you meet? Can you stop attending that meeting, or call in by phone? If the Friday company happy hour leads to some uncomfortable behavior, can you work from home that day? I had a job once that literally turned into a frat house around 3 pm on Friday, and I started leaving out of the back door so I wouldn’t be accosted by my coworkers.
Take a small action. A common mistake I see my career coaching clients making is aiming too big. When you are in a big girl job, you may not have time to sit down and redo your resume, or rebuild your entire portfolio. Start small. Just update one job history on your resume, or reach out to one former colleague to see if they are hiring at their new company. Doing any action shifts your energy from powerless and trapped to a woman of action. Often times, these blocks are purely mental, so hiring a career coach like myself, a resume writer, or a Linkedin expert can help provide the accountability and objectivity you need to extricate yourself from your hellscape. If that’s you, I would love to have you schedule a 30 minute complimentary consultation to start building your exit strategy.
For three more great tips on thriving in a job you hate but can’t leave, check out my latest Youtube video “What to do if you hate your job but can’t quit”